WHAT MASK ARE YOU WEARING TODAY ?

The other day I had a conversation with a work colleague and the subject came up about whether we are true to ourselves, or do we all have a tendency to hide ourselves behind persona's which aren't ours.  Changing then each time we are in certain situations.

Show me a person who doesn't hide behind a mask of their own making at some point, I would say they are a liar. As it is part of human nature.

WHY DO WE DO IT?

I believe we develop these masks as a form of a defence mechanisms. There are many reasons for donning these masks, the main one I believe has to be to gain social acceptance as we all have the desire to be liked/loved. So we change these masks to adjust to the social environment we are in, to feel comfortable and accepted.

We seem to develop the ability to don a mask at an early age and utilise it to our gain.  Think about when you were a child or look at your own children,  As children our parents knew our true selves as they were with us everyday, so knew what we were really like, the good, the bad and the ugly.  With parents we all could be little devils pushing them to cracking point, with tantrums, spitefulness etc. Then put us in an environment with external company i.e. Grandparents, parents of your friends, see the mask develop going from this child who has just had the biggest hissy fit about going on a visit, to an social angel, full of manners and charm. (ok it maybe because they want something but this is a prime example of donning a mask).

One of the frequent times we tend to don our masks, is when we what to hide our emotions from public view. Whether its:
Excitement
Disappointment
Fear
Rejection
Depression
Shyness
The list goes on.

CAN IT BE UNHEALTHY ?

As it is part of human nature, I would say its not unhealthy BUT only as long as you are aware of the masks you use and when you use them and when not to use them too, ensuring that they don't take over reality.

A mask can be used in a positive way as well as a negative way, but you should be aware of when you are using them,  One of the most commonly used masks is that of humour, this is one people tend to use on a daily basics when feeling insecure, nervous etc.  One of the most famous people to use humour as a mask was comedian Tony Hancock, who used it on a regular basic for work and in life to mask the fact he was a manic depressive.  The persona he showed his fans was a completely different to his true self, there are many more comedians out there that do the same. So he uses his mask in a positive way.

Bur there are those that have lost there grip on reality, who wear there different mask constantly never taking them off, so have develop a totally different unrealistic persona. I know one of these individuals, the masks they have developed over their life time have become a permanent fixture, their true self has all but disappeared. The person believes everything that comes out of their mouth is the truth (believing their own façade) They had a mask of an overachiever, mask of hero, mask of popularity the list goes on.  They live their life under the invented persona as this is only way they can survive day to day. They are totally obvious to the fact people can see them as a fake and not as important as they believe they are. So having an opposite effect to that of the majority of us, that use masks occasionally for things like social acceptance.  This person is not generally socially accepted and is the butt of jokes, referred to as a Billy Liar or a fool. Yet this person craves acceptance more than most, hence they have developed all these masks. In that situation I believe wearing a mask is very unhealthy.

CONCLUSION

We will all continue to wear masks as a coping mechanism, BUT remember they are only to deal with certain situations and should only be used for a small period of time. IF WE WANT TO BE TRUE TO OURSELVES.

MASKS

 

Don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a thousand masks,

and none of them are me.

 

Don't be fooled. For God's sake don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I'm secure, that confidence is my name and coolness is my game.

 

And that I need no one. But don't believe me.

Beneath dwells the real me in confusions, in aloneness, in fear.

 

That's why I create a mask to hide behind, to shield me from the glance that knows, but such a glance is precisely my salvation.

 

That is, if it's followed by acceptance, If it's followed by love, it's the only thing that can liberate me from my own self-built prison walls

 

I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing and that I'm just no good, and that you will reject me.

 

And so begins the parade of masks, I idly chatter to you, I tell you everything that's really nothing and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me.

 

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying.

 

I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous and "me".

 

But you've got to help me. You've got to hold my hand.

 

Each time you're kind and gentle, and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart beings to grow wings, feeble wings but wings.

 

With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding.

 

You alone can release me from my shallow world of uncertainty.

 

It will not be easy for you. The nearer you approach me, the blinder I may strike back but I'm told that Love is stronger than strong walls, and in this lies my only hope.

 

Please try to beat down these walls with firm hands, but gentle hands, for a child is very sensitive.

 

Who am I , you may wonder.

 

I AM EVERY MAN YOU MEET, AND ALSO EVERY WOMAN THAT YOU MEET AND I AM YOU ALSO.

 

Anon.