LIFE IN A BLUE SUIT................Part one

31 years ago today, I was on the platform at Loughborough Train Station, with me were my Mum and Dad, I was just about to board a train which would take me on a 14 year journey, which would be full of highs and lows, travel and things I thought I would never would experience.  I said goodbye to my parents, my Mum was tearful and there was watery glaze in my Dad's eyes (which was a very rare occurrence) as the train I was boarding was going to Plymouth, where I was going to start a new life as a Wren, I was joining the Women's Royal Navy. 

 

 

WRNS The History

 

The WRNS was first formed way back in 1917 during the 1st world war, this was to allow more men to go to sea after a large losses.  They recruited mainly from woman who already worked with the Royal Navy in a civilian role and from the areas of the country where males recruits were badly needed. So division of WRNS sprung up in places like Bristol, Chatham and Portsmouth.  There roles were mainly domestic roles such as cooks, stewards, sail makers and despatch rider as well as in intelligence.

They were placed under the command of the 1st Director of WRNS Katharine Furse  a former director of the Voluntary Aid Department.  By 1919 the members of the WRNS had extended far beyond expectations and numbers had swollen to over 7,000.  The Royal Navy was the first of the three services to  officially recruit women, the success of the idea was quickly clear and the WRAF and WAACS  were formed shortly afterwards.  It was never felt, however these services would have a permanent role.  The WRNS were disbanded at the end of the First World War in October 1919 without establishing  a reserve force.  But through the efforts of Katharine Furse that the Association of Wrens was founded in 1920.

 

 

                                                              Dame Katharine Furse DBE

 

Then with the outbreak of the Second World war the WRNS was very quickly formed, with recruitment drive Join the Wrens - free a man for the fleet !  This campaign encouraged many women to enrol, also with this campaign new roles for women were introduced such as Radio Operators, meteorologists, bomb range markers, coders & boat's crew Wrens.  By the end of September 1939 the number of Wrens had become about 16,000, many of the new recruits were actually previous Wrens from the First world war that had re-enlisted. By December the same year the numbers had almost tripled.  The training was a two week introduction to naval terminology and lots of scrubbing and cleaning. They became Officers and Ratings. 

 

As the service began to grow the problems of manpower shortages that had occurred in WWI  the women found themselves in more varied roles within the Royal Navy. Many Wrens served overseas at foreign bases, particularly in a logistical role.  At the service's peak (September 1944) there were over 74,000 women enrolled. Wrens served on land, unlike there male counterparts weren't enrolled to go to sea on board the ships, yet despite Admiralty's protestations, there were a few women who served as stokers and coxswains, whilst other served as code breakers in trans-Atlantic convoys. That did go to sea.  In fact on 19th August 1941 the SS Aguilla was sunk in a U-boat attack,  22 Wrens died on board her.  In fact a total of 303 where killed during WWII

After the end of WWII the WRNS weren't disbanded like the previous time, but only a small permanent WRNS service of 3,000 remained, they were women who were mostly in administration and support roles. In 1974 a survey observed that changing social structures and career limitations indicated the need for integration with the Royal Navy.  In 1977 the WRNS was brought under the Naval Discipline Act.  this had the dual effect of formalising the WRNS as part of the Royal Navy and also opening far more career opportunities for women. Women no longer enrolled in the WRNS they enlisted. In the 1990's due to falling Royal Navy recruitment, and a recognising that the best use wasn't being made of women within the RN, it highlighted the need for wrens to go to sea. The first 20 volunteer Officers and ratings step on board HMS Brilliant to work in the same environment as there male counterparts.   In November 1993 the Women's Royal Naval Service was disbanded and 4535 women were integrated fully into the Royal Navy.

My life in a blue suit

Sat on the train, I was a bit apprehensive, to what to expect I was twenty years old and although I had left school and lived in my own flat since leaving school, this was an adventure for me.  I soon identified other individuals that appeared to be going on the same journey as myself and others returning from there first weekend leave.  The train arrived at Plymouth train station and there were buses waiting for us, to transport us to HMS Raleigh the joint training establishment for males and females. just over a year earlier the Wrens would have done there initial training at HMS Dauntless which was for the training of females only.

We were taken to our accommodation block where we were introduced to our Petty Officer Wren Shirley Boulting who was responsible for class Victoria 03 to which I now belonged.

We were giving a brief introduction to what would be happening to us during our 6 weeks initial training.  Then taken to our rooms, which was a room that consisted of 6 beds. Where we could unpack, then we would be escorted to the "galley for our scran"  (go for tea) day one had started a new language to be learnt.

Over the next few weeks we were issued with our uniforms, told how to maintain them, given our individual official number (which still is engraved in my memory like other ex service personal)  even had lessons how to make beds, wash ourselves and how to brush our teeth, as well as learning how to march, something that some had great difficulty with causing hysterical laughter, also how to clean scrub clean the accommodation. Which was regularly inspected by senior officers.  Our down time was either spend studying or down the automat (naafi) and filling the plush new video juke box with coins to play the latest top ten, Ultravox "Vienna", Phil Collins "you can't hurry love and Rene and Renato  "save your love".  As I was 20 I was allowed in the students bar and allowed to drink wine, sherry martini and lager as I didn't have a blue cross over my id card.  On completion of my basic training we had the Passing Out Parade in front of parents.  This indicated you have made it through the first part of your training and were ready to go on to the next, your trade training.  For me that was HMS Mercury in Petersfield Hampshire........

                                                      Class Victory 03 1983

To be continued:

NOTE
If you are an female who has served in the Royal Navy and interested in chatting to other females with the same background, I run a facebook group the link is https://www.facebook.com/groups/Wrens/ we would be happy to see you there 

Also if you interested in becoming a member of the Association of Wrens please click on the link above this will take you directly to the website.  Thank you
 



WHAT MASK ARE YOU WEARING TODAY ?

The other day I had a conversation with a work colleague and the subject came up about whether we are true to ourselves, or do we all have a tendency to hide ourselves behind persona's which aren't ours.  Changing then each time we are in certain situations.

Show me a person who doesn't hide behind a mask of their own making at some point, I would say they are a liar. As it is part of human nature.

WHY DO WE DO IT?

I believe we develop these masks as a form of a defence mechanisms. There are many reasons for donning these masks, the main one I believe has to be to gain social acceptance as we all have the desire to be liked/loved. So we change these masks to adjust to the social environment we are in, to feel comfortable and accepted.

We seem to develop the ability to don a mask at an early age and utilise it to our gain.  Think about when you were a child or look at your own children,  As children our parents knew our true selves as they were with us everyday, so knew what we were really like, the good, the bad and the ugly.  With parents we all could be little devils pushing them to cracking point, with tantrums, spitefulness etc. Then put us in an environment with external company i.e. Grandparents, parents of your friends, see the mask develop going from this child who has just had the biggest hissy fit about going on a visit, to an social angel, full of manners and charm. (ok it maybe because they want something but this is a prime example of donning a mask).

One of the frequent times we tend to don our masks, is when we what to hide our emotions from public view. Whether its:
Excitement
Disappointment
Fear
Rejection
Depression
Shyness
The list goes on.

CAN IT BE UNHEALTHY ?

As it is part of human nature, I would say its not unhealthy BUT only as long as you are aware of the masks you use and when you use them and when not to use them too, ensuring that they don't take over reality.

A mask can be used in a positive way as well as a negative way, but you should be aware of when you are using them,  One of the most commonly used masks is that of humour, this is one people tend to use on a daily basics when feeling insecure, nervous etc.  One of the most famous people to use humour as a mask was comedian Tony Hancock, who used it on a regular basic for work and in life to mask the fact he was a manic depressive.  The persona he showed his fans was a completely different to his true self, there are many more comedians out there that do the same. So he uses his mask in a positive way.

Bur there are those that have lost there grip on reality, who wear there different mask constantly never taking them off, so have develop a totally different unrealistic persona. I know one of these individuals, the masks they have developed over their life time have become a permanent fixture, their true self has all but disappeared. The person believes everything that comes out of their mouth is the truth (believing their own façade) They had a mask of an overachiever, mask of hero, mask of popularity the list goes on.  They live their life under the invented persona as this is only way they can survive day to day. They are totally obvious to the fact people can see them as a fake and not as important as they believe they are. So having an opposite effect to that of the majority of us, that use masks occasionally for things like social acceptance.  This person is not generally socially accepted and is the butt of jokes, referred to as a Billy Liar or a fool. Yet this person craves acceptance more than most, hence they have developed all these masks. In that situation I believe wearing a mask is very unhealthy.

CONCLUSION

We will all continue to wear masks as a coping mechanism, BUT remember they are only to deal with certain situations and should only be used for a small period of time. IF WE WANT TO BE TRUE TO OURSELVES.

MASKS

 

Don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a thousand masks,

and none of them are me.

 

Don't be fooled. For God's sake don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I'm secure, that confidence is my name and coolness is my game.

 

And that I need no one. But don't believe me.

Beneath dwells the real me in confusions, in aloneness, in fear.

 

That's why I create a mask to hide behind, to shield me from the glance that knows, but such a glance is precisely my salvation.

 

That is, if it's followed by acceptance, If it's followed by love, it's the only thing that can liberate me from my own self-built prison walls

 

I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing and that I'm just no good, and that you will reject me.

 

And so begins the parade of masks, I idly chatter to you, I tell you everything that's really nothing and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me.

 

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying.

 

I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous and "me".

 

But you've got to help me. You've got to hold my hand.

 

Each time you're kind and gentle, and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart beings to grow wings, feeble wings but wings.

 

With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding.

 

You alone can release me from my shallow world of uncertainty.

 

It will not be easy for you. The nearer you approach me, the blinder I may strike back but I'm told that Love is stronger than strong walls, and in this lies my only hope.

 

Please try to beat down these walls with firm hands, but gentle hands, for a child is very sensitive.

 

Who am I , you may wonder.

 

I AM EVERY MAN YOU MEET, AND ALSO EVERY WOMAN THAT YOU MEET AND I AM YOU ALSO.

 

Anon.



REFLECTION .................

                                       Picture by Tom Hussey  - Reflections collection


This morning I was standing in front of my wardrobe mirror, looking at my reflection, (not a pretty sight :-) ) in front of me was a female of 50, in her own little terrace house with her ever faithful cat Tilli.  As I looked, I reflected on my pass, all the dreams and expectations I had as a teenage  to what I would have done in my life before I was 50.  I realised that none of the path I thought I would have followed had happen.  Do I have regrets! Yes I do, but in the words of the classic Frank Sinatra song My Way......

 

 

Regrets, I've had a few,

But then again, too few to mention

 

 

THE WAY THINGS WERE.

 

Growing up in the 1960's and 1970's  there still quite a divide between what was expected of a female and a male, a divide which doesn't really exist in certain country anymore.  So much so, that even the toys we would play with were sort of dictated to us or even how we dressed,  Although girls were being to wear trousers more and more it was still expected that dresses and skirts would be worn, as for toys and things, the boys had the chopper bike, girls a smaller version often referred to as a clipper. In the Christmas stocking if lucky as a girl you would receive a tiny tears or Sindy dolls,  a Twinkle or Jackie annual,  if you were a boy chances you would get something like Subbuteo  and Action man figures with roaming eyes and gripping hands (mmm that may explain a few things :-) )  with a Whizzer and Chips annual or Shoot annual. 

 

 

 



At school it tended to be mandatory for the girls to do Domestic Science (cooking) and Needlework, where the boys did Metalwork and Woodwork though by the time I got to secondary school I could opt for Metalwork and Woodwork as well, which I did, must admit it has come in handy ref DIY in my little terrace.

 

EXPECTATIONS AND DREAMS THAT FORMED.

 

It was still very much when you had your career advise, that as a girl the work you were directed too tended to be administration based,  a Clerk, a Receptionist, Typist/Secretary, Shop worker,  Unless you were in the A band, than you maybe luck enough to go to University and study to do something different Teaching, possibly if lucky a Doctor.  Even though the workplace was being to open up to more opportunities for women.

 

But back at the age of 13 in 1975 the idea of doing something different wasn't really encourage, the Victorian attitude still existed a certain degree where a woman may work but it was expected that she should than get married and bring up children etc.

 

So, because of that at 13 my dreams and expectations were formed, influenced by this attitude.  I would got to work for a short while where upon I would meet the man of my dreams and fall in love, get married, I would be a housewife have children and raise them, I would grow old with the man of my dreams and live happy ever after, maintaining my slim figure and not go all mumsy. I would discuss this with my girlfriends and we all tended to have the same dream and expectations. Also if I ever got to 50 (which was such an old age ) I would be looking after my Grandchildren on occasions.  Everything would be perfect a life full of romance and happiness. picture perfect.

 

How far removed from those dreams and expectation is what did happen.  I have to smile at the naivety of my thoughts and how the world has changed and how it allows women to have bigger dreams and expectations.

THE PATH I ACTUALLY TOOK

On leaving school I started on the path I thought I would follow, I have a boyfriend, we were close as close as you could be at that age,  I had been employed by a Building Society on a probation period waiting for my exam result to allow me day release at college. Unfortunately I didn't get the qualification required so the job didn't last long, I then worked in a TV rental shop, while I was there I went to the 21st Birthday of my second cousin, at her birthday I had a conversation that would change my life and lead me on a totally different path.  My cousin Helen was in the Women's Royal Navy Service (WRNS) as a female rating that repaired helicopters.  The stories she told me of her life, had me enthralled why had nobody told me about this kind of work.  I had looked briefly at becoming a Police woman, but there was a height restriction, so that was out of the question, but this job had no height restriction,  It was round 1982 and the Navy had been in the news due to the Falklands.

So off I trotted to the recruitment office and signed up, as a Radio Operator, I was as pleased as punch, I was living in a small village in Leicestershire, and it became the talk of the village, that I was going into the forces as no one else male or female of my generation had enlisted.

So on the 17th January 1983 at the age 20 I started in WRNS taking a totally different path than that I have envisioned as 13 year old girl, I was now unbelievably on a career path.  I served for a total of 14 years, in which I moved up the ranks.  After I left I ended up working for the Police, as the forces first female civilian Scene of Crime Officer/CSI. Which I have now been doing for nearly 17 years.

 

 

 

WHAT OF LOVE AND FAMILY

 

I dated some very nice guys over the years, but I don't really think I have ever been truly in love, yet have felt broken hearted. As I have had very fond feeling for them, I think the only thing that has remained with me from the age of 13 is from the daydreaming discussions with my girlfriends, about falling in love and what it would mean, so basically falling in love with love as I saw it. So, even at the age of 50 I'm not really sure of what true love for a partner is, or if I'm capable of it.  As for a family, I haven't any children of my own I do have beautiful Godchildren which I love as if they are my own. So I really haven't lost out there.

 

 

NEVER SAY NEVER

 

As I stood in front of that mirror and had these thoughts, the conclusion I ended up with was I have had a life that many people may envy, I've travelled, I experience  all sort of different things in both my job, some if I told you about I would have to shoot you!  I had my up's and down's like everyone else, but truth be told, I wouldn't really change the path I ended up trending.  Also, you never know I may get my original dreams in my twilight years, as 50 is now the new 40, so plenty of time, I may meet the man of my dreams, who show me what it is to be really in love, but this time it may not be my children and Grandchildren, but step children and step Grandchildren.  Strangers things have happen!!!.

 

 





PART 2 THE INVISIBLE ILLNESS (TIME TO TALK)

WHERE I'M AT....

One of the first post in my blog was a small insight into my personal experience of Endogenous Depression. http://bit.ly/1cPhxnq

In which, I said that I was due to return to work after being signed off sick, very shortly.  Well the actually D-Day is now only 5 days away.

 

Although, I feel ready to return, I can feel my anxiety levels raising slightly, at the thought, also my sleep pattern is slightly disturbed after just settling back down.

The reason why!  is apprehension. Because with this type of depression you have negative thoughts, so questions are aways forming in my mind like:

 

How will people act towards me ?

What will they say to me?

Will they be judgemental ?

Will they be empathic ?

Will they want a full explanation for my absent ?

Will they just ignore me ?

 

To many of you, this may seem strange, but in the mind of an Endogenous Depressive, they are quite valid questions.  Yet, to be honest I expect everything will be OK. but it doesn't stop those thoughts coming to the surface.  I am sure that many people who have suffered this illness have had those sort of thoughts prior to returning to work.

 

STIGMA

Unfortunately, there is stigma attached to being diagnosed with Mental Health problems.  My personal thought is that the word "Mental" instils' fear. As the word "Mental" isn't seen as it's actual definition.

 

MENTAL - Of or relating to the mind

Executed or performed by the mind

 

BUT is associated with the urban dictionary definitions:

 

Insane

Sick

Crazy

Psycho

Nonsensical

Looney

Attention seeking

Wacky

Fickle

Moody

the list goes on, all negative descriptive words.

 

I wouldn't personally describe myself as any of the above negative descriptions. (Some might disagree :-) )

 

Yet, I am a person who suffers from an illness called Endogenous Depression, because I have an in-balance of bio-chemicals the neurotransmitters (Endogenous chemicals) in my brain which are low or become low.  This causes me to have a negative style of thoughts about myself, which can result in low self-esteem, low confidence levels, which can be exasperated by genetic, psychological, emotional, environmental and social factors. 

 

 

 

Shhhhhhhhh!!!

 

So, basically I have an illness, it's as straight forward as that !.  Yet, unlike someone who has diabetes, crohn's disease, or even cancer. Chances are that you would be quite happily talk to them, even discuss their illness if they wish, asking question how do they cope,  how does it effect their day to day life and feel at ease in doing so.  But then put yourself in front of a person who you are aware has a mental health problem, the chances are the subject is a NO GO AREA, maybe because of the fear that, if you mention it, it will set them off, tears, or they will throw a wobbly which is associated with this stigma of being diagnoses with this illness.   You couldn't be more wrong!

 

IT'S TIME TO TALK.

Shortly after posting my first post on this subject, a friend drew my attention to a campaign which is attempting to make people more aware and reduce the stigma that goes with mental health problems.  It is called  Time to Change  it was established in 2007 and supported by MIND and RETHINK MENTAL ILLINESS,  they are promoting the strapline "It's time to talk," it is endorsed my many celebrities that have suffered themselves.  I am ashamed I wasn't aware of this campaign till I was told about it,  it is an excellent campaign.  On their Facebook page and website have some very good information and advise.

I am posting the links to both, so you can have a look yourselves,  and I hope you share the information.

Time to change website 

 

 

 

Time to change Facebook page 

 

 



 





I hope you have enjoyed my ramblings on this subject, giving you pause for thought. I sincerely hope you take the opportunity to look at both the website and Facebook page, on this subject.  

 

On a personal note thank you for reading this post.

 

 









 



FRIENDS - What kind our yours?

There is a saying that if you can count your true friends on one hand, then you are a lucky person.

There are two people in my life who I would say hand on heart are my true friends. So I am a lucky person.  One, I met after I moved to York, that is Jackie, she started working in the local shop about 10 years ago, I used to see her in there and strike up a conversation with her, every time I went in.  I discovered that she was actually trained as a hairdresser, but had taken up working in the shop, as a part time job because she had a young son.  So I asked her if she would be willing to cut my hair. She agreed. From that moment on a beautiful true friendship developed.  

The other, I met while I was in the Navy.  She doesn't live as close, and so I don't see her often as Jackie.  Though, we speak to each other every week if we can, or visit.

I met Simone while I was based in Faslane, Scotland.  I was in the galley (communal dining room) when I saw this young girl holding her tray looking around and lost, so I invited her to sit down at the same table as me, that was the start of our beautiful friendship, which has lasted over 20 years so far, from which I have become the extremely proud Godmother to her children. I love both these women with all my heart.

I believe there are different circles of friends we have in our lives, see if you agree:

BEST FRIENDS.

I have just introduced you to my best friends, these are the friends that I trust with every aspect of my life.  These are the friends that you would put your life on the line for, you share all your aspirations, dreams and disappointments with, you also have a non-verbal connection with.  You never have to ask if they need help, you instinctively know, so are there by their sides like a shot.  You never judge them, you accept them for exactly who they are, faults and all.  More importantly, they reciprocate, by treating you the same. 

FRIENDS

These are the individuals that you are close to, you share the same sort of things as you do with you best friend, but not as in depth, you hold things back With these friends you don't have the same non verbal communication, but if they asked for help, you would be there for them no questions asked.   They are the friends, who, if you haven't seen them for a while, you will continue exactly where you left off, the last time you saw or talked to each other. As if no time had passed.  Again this is reciprocated by them. 

 MATES/ACQUAINTANCES.

Chances are this will be the biggest circle of "friends" in your life.  These are the individuals that you refer to as friends in conversations, they are the ones that you have a good rapport with, you know the basics about them, but you haven't got the same relationship with, as you have with your best friends or friends.

You usually meet and know them through work/college/university or through social interaction.   These are the individuals that you may call up to go out with, have a laugh with and enjoy their company.  But there is no real intimacy with, where you can share secrets etc.  Although, there is a strong chance that from this type of "friend" (which you can look at, as a baseline), you will end up obtaining your friends and best friends. 

FAIR-WEATHER/FAUX FRIEND.

We have or have had this type of "friend" in our circle of friends.  The one that you and you alone have to constantly work on the friendship, the "friend" that completely drains you,  as they constantly take from you, but you never really give anything back.

You only tend to hear from them when they WANT something, they see you as a provider.  They are all sweetness and light when they contact you, making all the right noises, asking how you are, how things are going, but as soon as you respond, they switch off, till they find the opportunity to bring the conversation round to themselves, where they can talk about themselves to their hearts desire, eventually getting round to what they WANT from you. 

Because, we are who we are, we tolerate these individuals for a time, as we hope that they may come to realise that they can be your friend without the cloak and dagger games; then once they had established that friendship, helping them or providing them with something they want, comes hand in hand. Saying that, they must realise that there does come a point where they will have to give as well as take.   If this time doesn't appear to come, it is time to rid yourself of this supposed "friend", as they will always continue to drain and use you.

 

Our brief acquaintance was such a mistake
Now it seems more like a sentence
Or something you always had to fake

                                                                                



                                                                            (Lyrics from It's time - Elvis Costello)


Friendship is a very important part of all our life, something we should all treasure.

 

DISCOVER TALENTED INDIE AUTHORS (you maybe missing out on a great book!)

The other day I came across a really good blog post by author Sara Barton inspired by a comment she received on a review about her book. "wasn't bad, for an indie"

Sara Barton's Blog Post

 In the last 18 months I have been thrown into the world of the indie author as I have been assisting a friend with the marketing side of his books.

Have you ever heard or picked up a book by Terry Tyler, Richard Stephenson, Christopher Shields and my friend John Donoghue.  Each one is a self-published author who have a large numbers of 5 Star reviews for their books, from the people who have discovered them via word of mouth or social networking site and discovered how talented they are. 

 I have seen first hand how hard it is for them to get noticed or taken seriously as authors, it isn't because they aren't talented or have a good story to tell, their reviews prove they are and have, it because the majority of the general public (the readers) don't hear about them, because they haven't got a large publishing house behind them, with the financial clot to advertise the product or produce a major marketing campaign.

These author's have to work really hard to market their books so people will notice and pick up a copy to read.  I know how just how hard they work, I only do it part time, as I have a full time job, but it takes up most of my spare time, even more so recently, as my friend has just released a new book, to assist him getting the book noticed, I have been working with him in tweeting promos as well as sending publicity emails to magazines and book reviewers etc. in total approximate 120 emails have been send of all of those approximately 10 have replied, as he isn't a mainstream publishing house author. Even though his previous book has over 285 5 star reviews, which indicates those people who have picked up a copy and read it have loved it.

With social networking sites, these author's are at last finding a platform to market their books, which isn't a big strain on their pockets, as well as personally interacting with their readers.  But still are being over looked by many, as they aren't publically known. So end up disappearing into the abyss.

Recently, there has been news stories about JK Rowling.  Which proves the point that an "unknown" author can easily be over looked.   She decided to release her new book called The Cuckoo's Calling under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith.  It is reported that the book only sold 400 copies prior to it being "leaked" it was actually written by JK Rowling.  Now is selling fast and receiving 5* reviews.  It makes you wonder, if it hadn't been leaked that she wrote it, how many people would have brought a copy with the minimum amount of advertising it was given.

So how can you discover these talented authors and sample their work ?  Many of these authors as previously stated market on the social networking sites.  If you are an avid reader and want to try something new, you can search these site quite easily. 

TWITTER   -  Enter in #discover search box enter any of these hashtags,   #ASMSG #BYNR #AMENL #BOOK  this will give you a large amount of tweets from indie authors promoting their books

FACEBOOK - Enter  Books, Authors  or anything connected with writing, this will bring up a whole list of pages and groups that you can browse.

Remember now days you can open up or download a Free sample read of these books to see if it draws you in or whether it's not for you.

FINALLY If you do find a book you have decided to read from the vast array of talent out there, don't forget to leave a review, there is nothing better for an author than someone reviewing their book.  Whether, it be positive or indifferent, as both can be good for an aspiring author.

Here are the links to the indie author's I have mentioned.



Terry Tyler Authors page

 

Richard Stephenson's authors page 

 

Christopher Shields Authors page 

 

And last but not least my good friend

 

John Donoghue's Authors page 

 

 

 

 

 

ARMCHAIR FRIENDS ONLY - COULD THIS BE WHAT IS IN STORE FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS?

This morning like I expect many of you out there, I woke up and after a few minutes reached for my phone to check what my friends had to say overnight on both Facebook and Twitter.

Once I had satisfied myself with this cursory glance.  I put on the kettle for a brew, then opened up my laptop, to have a more in-depth look on my social network accounts.  Liking, sharing, commenting, re-tweeting and marking as favourites. Once that was complete I checked my e-mail accounts for emails of note from friends ........
Job Done.!

I say my friends, maybe it would be more apt to refer to them as my armchair friends.

When you look at the number of friends you have on Facebook or Twitter, how many do you actually know personally in the true definition of a friend

A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations. Out of my 273 listed friends on Facebook, I only have 5 personal friends, out of my 344 twitter friends, only 1 (and that is a new friendship and in the process of growing). By personal, I am referring actual knowing the person and having this bond.  I dare say it is the same for many of you that are reading this. Yet on these sites we join in conversations as if we were sitting around a table with a drink in hand chatting with our mates.   We share private thoughts in private conversations as if we are chatting to a close friend down the phone or in person.  We congratulate people on their achievements, wish them Happy Birthday. Yet in reality these are people we have never met or likely to meet. But what do we really know about these individuals, we are sharing our thoughts, dreams and aspirations with, we only know then from what they have decided to tell us about themselves, from that, we make the judgement whether we continue to share our private thoughts with them. I'm sure we have all met that person online,  with whom we have built up a rapport,  they appear to share the same interests as you, they make you laugh  etc.  You begin to converse on a regular basics in private typed conversations.  It maybe a person of the opposite sex, you question each other on their life and loves, you may even start flirting and even more.  In this scenario they say their single, attracted to you etc.  BUT are they being honest with you.  You have to take it on face value they are, after all, you're developing a friendship now, friends don't lie to each other, do they! Let's take a moment to go back in time, on how we used to make friends. You meet this same person on a evening out, face to face, once again you strike up this fantastic rapport.  You asked the same questions about their life and loves, but this time you have eye contact.  The person gives the same replies, yet this time a warning light goes off in your head. THEY ARE LYING. Why did this warning light go off?  While you were having this conversation in person, you were subconsciously reading them, their body language, their facial expressions.  Something the we all learn subconsciously as children and develop through social interaction.  Yet, when you are behind a keyboard you don't have this built in warning system.  You have relying on the other person being totally honest.  I hear so often these days, parent's complaining about their children are shy, introvert, then in the same breathe, moaning about the time they spend on their computers, playing  games with their online friends. Or chatting on social network sites.   Then when the family is in the company of others, the child has no social interaction with these people, they can't hold  a conversations, their heads are down, they rather be playing with their handheld gaming devices or on a tablet/phone. Also, they don't go out climbing trees, making dens, interact with children their own age in a game of footie, role playing Cops and Robber, Cowboys and Indians or playing dress up with their friends as Fairy Princesses This makes me think, what is it really going to be like for future generations, with all this technology around, will they have the ability to make true physical friends rather than armchair friends, will they have the ability to socially interact with other people as they grow up, will they have the ability to subconsciously read body language and facial expressions to allow them to read emotions, or alert them to danger.  Or will this have to be put on the school curriculum  as they are unable to learn naturally.  It's a possibility, a frightening one at that!. In answer to the question "Could this be what is in store for future generations?" I sincerely hope not.